morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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