yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
