yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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