I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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