Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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