Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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