Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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