He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
