I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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