yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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