I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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