Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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