how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
