Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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