Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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