oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's the barista slut.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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