Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
