It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
