I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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