the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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