Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
