Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
