Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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