i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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