worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
