He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
