Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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