i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
