Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
