She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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