you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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