You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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