I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
dude. I can hear the air.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
