Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
