you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
