i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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