So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
