Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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