he wants to bone in the snuggie
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
