Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
