i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
