so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
