hotel room ftw
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize