i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Who died my cat blue again?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
