I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize