Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
