so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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