I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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