woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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