This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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