she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
