It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
