hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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