Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
