I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
