What a fucking waste of an outfit
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love having hate sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
