That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
