SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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