we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
