It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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