I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
