Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
