there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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