I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just had sex on a roof
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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