His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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