woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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