plz talk dirty to me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
