Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
